Letter to the assistant DA

letter to the assistant district attorney

Hello______

I believe your are prosecuting ________'s husband. I am rather worried. She would probably tell you these things (and perhaps has) but I think she has has that weird emotional ambivalence and fear of domestic abuse victims.

As you know, she has a restraining order. Tonight, she got another disturbing phone call from her husband. Each time she gets one, I tell her to let you hear it. This call like some others upset her deeply. She knows his calls violate a court order but it is helpful when he manages to leave a somewhat normal parental message about their three kids. (IE: "I can't pick up the kids for the fourth time in row although I did promise them each time.") But his crazy psychotic messages make her so anxious, she deletes them instantly from her cell phone.

In the last day or two, some official called _______'s husband and told him he would need to provide some kind of child support. (He hasn't helped at all. It was only after _______'s father discovered that she had to work 12 hour days for weeks on end and pressured her a bit that she pursued the issue,) She knew it would make him mad. It did make him angry. She is having family stay with her tonight.

She said she would tell you about this call. Even if she deletes it, she believes deleted calls stay on the company's server for a period of time. She says she will tell you but I know she won't. She doesn't want to think about him. In practical terms, she's afraid he will go right to jail without the chance of bail and she won't get any financial help before the trial. (She really needs more time off with the kids and she knows it. She feels like she or one of her kids will meltdown.) On purely instinctive terms, she wonders how he will react if she tells. Will he get questioned about it, go ballistic and murder her or the kids? It all leaves her frozen.

There are some other issues: Although she knows it has happened or is happening, she won't go and see if her credit has been ruined. His money has always seemed to vanish (and while living with him, it seems, it was a taboo subject... she assumed he had a girlfriend (he was seen with various women)... now she wonders if he was/is on drugs.) A month or two ago, she got a notice he took out a quickie-between-paychecks loan and there were some other things (which I don't recall) that didn't bode well for her future credit line. I told her he could be taking credit cards out in her name but she just isn't willing to add to her problems-to-worry-about right now. She can't deal with much else. But if it is something else which will help nail him, good.

Although, I was never clear about this: She says his citizenship was a very expensive forgery he bought several years ago. Plus she says, he had multiple identities for awhile and, was, it seems, using the name of some one in Bermuda (or something like that.)

He tells his kids he would still live with them if mommy wasn't such a whore.

I know these things may not exactly have anything to do with the case but I think they point to his character. If you didn't know some of these things and they help the case against __________s husband, then talk to her about them.

She will be angry with me. I hope I'm doing the right thing.

She fears for her life. She's terrified. I hate to see her this way. She is an amazing person. Generous with the help. She is a very important part of the lives of others.

PS: In case you are wondering what my angle is: I'm just a fat gay man butting in where I probably don't belong.

July 29, 2006